Sexy Time

Single people: what's the longest you've gone without having sex?

3 weeks?
A month and a half?
4 months?

For me it was 6 months. 6 MONTHS. That's half a year. That's like 130ish days. "We Can't Stop" wasn't even a week old the last time I had sex.

Yeah, that long. For people that are virgins, abstinent or are saving themselves for marriage or that 'special someone', 6 months isn't shit. I, however, am not one of those people. For single, bacheloresque niggas such as myself, 6 months is an eternity. It was so bad that if I tried hard enough, I could make cum shoot out of my eyes like this dude:

But then came New Year's Eve..

A perfect storm of well-dressedness, super drunkness, released inhibitions and an overarching 'idgaf' theme. It was like Halloween but a little colder, essentially. Annnnnd I fucked.. finally lol. Fucked like there was no tomorrow. Fucked her like I missed her, as Wayne would say.

And even though it was fun and I'm glad it happened, I'm still not a huge fan of one-night stands. Assuming I never see this chick again, this'll be the first one for me, and quite possibly my last. IDK, it just leaves a lot to be desired, I guess.

The way I think of one-night stands is similar to going out drinking and finding $100 on the ground. Like, yeah, that's good money and you're glad you found it, but it's not a steady source of income. You ain't livin off of that shit. You just got lucky, essentially.

So I guess my problem with random hookups is the randomness of it. It seems like a very inconsistent source of vadge.. for me at least lol. One night about a month or so ago I met this girl at a bar and we were drinking, kissing, dancing, etc. etc. And I ended up getting her number and going back with her to her place.. Then once I got there she called me cab lol. I still don't know where I went wrong with that one.

So what are my options? The most consistent vaginal source would probably be to just find a nice girl and date her. Buuut ain't nobody got time for that lol. I mean, I do, but I don't want to. As cliche as it sounds, I'm a point right now in my life where I'm still growing as a man and a person and that's a lot harder to do while in a relationship. Also, I'm still not 100% sure what I'm gonna do or where I'm gonna be down the road and I'd rather not have to consider someone else's life when making my own life decisions.

Option #2 would be to try harder to fuck whenever I go out, and lower my standards if necessary lol but I don't think I wanna be one of those guys.

Bar scenes are funny to me because it's almost like watching Animal Planet or some shit. Like there'll be a gaggle of girls dancing or talking or whatever and then a circle of dudes surrounding 'em and lurking nshit, just waiting to pounce lol. I'm not about that life. Plus, since I only go out once a week, if that, my goal is usually to get drunk and have fun. If I just so happen to get some poon along the way, great lol but I don't want that to be the factor that makes or breaks my night.

I guess paying for sex would be option #3, but in order for that to be consistent it'd be expensive as fuck. Plus, it just oozes desperation, and I wasn't even close to that point during my 6-month dry spell lol

..And that leaves option #4. The BEST option. Shoutout to the 1st people to think of this because it's borderline genius. That's right, I'm talking about friends with benefits, or FWB as the kids call it. The only problem with this option is that I don't really know how to do it. Before the NYE chick I've only slept with girls that I was dating (or one of their friends lol) so I'm not quite sure how to pull that off or how the conversation would even go, but I'm guessing it would look a little like this:

Me:

Sup girl

Her:

Hey

Me:

Let's have sex tonight... and every once in a while until we don't want to anymore

Her:

I was thinking the same thing!

*emoticon* *emoticon*

-- end scene --

Seems pretty simple, right?